Love and Relaxing, Love and Reality: Two Different Animals

Well, I'm back from vacation with my husband - IT WAS AMAZING! This beach girl lost a little bit of loyalty to the beach. The mountains surrounding Lake Tahoe were breath taking. They were a visable example of God's Greatest. I tried skiing and I emphasize tried. After getting off the ski lift I fell and then about 100 yards later began to cry and begged to take my skiis off and walk the rest of the way down. My husband, of course, did not let me do this. He was so patient with me - I said every other second that as soon as I made it down the moutain he would NEVER see me in another pair of skiis again. Needless to say, after may bruises and falls, I did make it and I will never do it again. But --- I can now say I have skied and it was horendous. I did love the snow, sledding, the cabin, the views, and everything else about our time away, though.

My husband and I were able to connect in a way that we haven't done in a long time. We were totally focused on one another, care free, stress free, and kid free! I fell in love with him 100 times in those five days. He looked more handsome to me than ever before, with his messy ski hat hair, and big snow boots. We flirted and joked and just reveled in one another. Easy to do when you are that relaxed and enjoying your surroundings as much as we were.

It wasn't until we got home that I realized how much I love this man that I married. Coming back to reality is always stressful and depressing. We went to bed late the night we returned, and both had to go to work the next day. Kids needed to be dressed, breakfast needed to be on the table, back packs needed packing, hats and gloves needed to be found, and I just wasn't ready for this to be my reality yet. I stood in the garage and watched my husband buckling our daughter into her seat, and I realized that I was even more in love with him now than I was over the last five days. I love that my reality is with him. Don't get me wrong, I loved our relaxation time together, but the relaxatioin will always end and their will always be reality. How thankful I am that I am married to a man that I can love just as much in the realities of life as in the relaxations of life. How about you? How are you doing in loving your spouse in the realities of life?

Priorities - Easier Said Than Done

Lately, I have really been struggling with the order and emphasis of my priorities. We all know the big ones: God, husbands, kids. They are so easy to name, but somehow all mix together throughout my day. If I try to do my time with the Lord while my kids are awake there will indefinitely be an interruption involving spilled food, wiping a poopy butt, or screaming for no apparent reason. If I wait until nap time I feel so distracted by the 100 things I didn't get done when they were awake. If I wait until they go to bed to spend time with the Lord, I sit there thinking about how much I need to be spending this quiet time with my husband. Is there any answer to this vicious cycle? I really do not have a good or practical answer to this, but I'm going to try to at least give some tips that might help.

First, find yourself some accountability. Often one person isn't enough. Find a group of women to go through a study with. I am currently doing the Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed study with Beth Moore. I'm in a group with 22 women - talk about a lot of accountability. This keeps in the word, because I know I have to sit with other women, and I do not want to be the only one with an empty book! :) Eventually, you will move from discipline to read the Word, to desiring the Word, to devouring the Word.

Second, make a list of all the things you want to have accomplished in one week. Divide the list up so that you only have to accomplish one or two big things a day. I never try to clean my whole house in one day. I just end up disappointing myself with what I didn't finish, but giving myself the option of just completing one chore; I can get the floors swept and mopped in one day.

Third, the time after your kids go to bed is precious, and definitely spend time with your husband. Feeling guilty about not reading your Bible during this time is not what God would have for you. It is so important for your marriage that you and your husband have quiet, uninterrupted time. However, while it may not be the best time for you to go off by yourself during this time, it is a great time for you and your husband to come before the Lord together for a few moments. But by all means - curl up on the couch - snuggle watch some good TV together, too. You need lots of moments like these.

Finally, guilt is not what the Lord wants you to feel in regards to your relationship and time with Him. Let yourself off the hook from having to have the "typical" sit down alone with lights low, bible, and a copy of "My Utmost for His Highest" in hand. Don't get me wrong that scenario sounds wonderful, but let's be realistic - most of our lives don't allow for this ever day. God has really been teaching me how to have a "relationship" with him rather than "moments". He wants my attention all day long in everything that I do. My old way of thinking told me I had to wait until my "quiet time" to approach God, but I am learning that He wants me to approach Him when I'm cleaning up dishes and when I'm reading to my kids.

I definitely do not have this all figured out - and the beautiful part is I don't have to. As long as my mind is focused on who God is and what he means to me, I will know more tomorrow and hopefully, be a little more like Him in the process.

Seven years and counting....

It will be seven years ago that I married my best friend. I look at us now and realize what completely different people we are from the two kids that said vows to one another. I am amazed that through all the changes internally and externally in our lives we are even more in love with one another than we were on that special day. If you really stop and think about that, it is truly amazing, and only attainable through God's grace. Even though, I by no means, have this all figured out, I thought I would post some of my "advice" about marriage today. So here goes:

1. Go to bed together.

2. Cook a good meal for him often.

3. Having the house picked up when he gets home from work, really is a big deal.

4. Pray for him daily.

5. Get angry when people are mean to him. :)

6. Occasionally wear something a little revealing to bed (the t-shirts are great, but it gets old).

7. Make his lunch everyday, and leave him a note telling why you love him.

8. Thank him when he does the things that he's supposed to do (like taking out the trash).

9. Ask him if it's okay when you buy something.

10. Tell him something you are proud of or respect him for on a regular basis.

11. Brag about him to your friends (rather than criticise).

12. Pray together (nothing draws you closer).

13. Fight fair - never call each other names and always make up with in 30 minutes (that's our rule).

14. Let him kiss you whenever he wants.

My husband and I are both first born children so we have had our fair share of power struggles, but I can honestly tell you that learning to submit to my husband's authority has been one of the greatest joys I've ever experienced. God does know what He's talking about when he says "wives submit to your husbands." There is so much weight lifted off of me when I hand things over to my husband. Giving the "big stuff" to him allows me to love him and serve my family the way I need to. Seven years later....I am still learning and loving more every day.