Is this it?

Ever since I was a little girl my mother ingrained in me that I would always, no matter what, be able to support myself. "You never know what life may bring you." I can still hear her saying this to me. Some background here - my father left my mother when I was ten. She was alone, having to support two children on her own. She has good reason to be paranoid about life. And so, after slicing a zillion bananas and picking just as many Cheerios up off the floor, I wonder - am I doing the right thing? Should I be home? Is this really what's best for our kids? That's what I'm struggling with right now. And yet - somewhere deep in the core of me - there is this driving force that keeps me going. I know I am created to do this. I have been equipped to handle these children and all of their messes. I think one of the greatest realization I have come to as a mom is this - my love, as deep and vast and unconditional as it my be, IS NOT ENOUGH. Isn't that amazing? Think about it? My love for these children isn't enough. Unless, I asked God to give me His love for these kids, I am going to fail every day. And I do fail. Almost everyday. Here's an excerpt from my journal after I had been home with the kids for two months:

"My patience is wavering. I love my time with both of them but there are days when I can't stand myself. Today I read My Utmost for His Highest and I gleaned so much. Unless I do everything in obedience to God's will, I will waiver in my pursuits. In other words, loving my children and taking care of them out of that deep love isn't enough. The source for what I do cannot come out of my own love, but out of my obedience and love for Jesus. When I become impatient and flustered it is because I am doing things on my own; my love just isn't enough."

So, to answer my question --- yes, this is it. Being home is the hardest, most tiresome, amazing job I've ever had. What are your thoughts?