Potty Humor is a Part of EVERYTHING

My son (3) and daughter (2) were playing "space guys" and were imagining that they were superheros. Of course, with every good superhero there comes a great name. My son announced to me that he was (with no surprised to me), "Buzz Light Year, and this is my sister Flower toot." So typical of him. She's a girl, deserving a specific girl name, but not to be left without a little potty humor, too. Oh, I don't want them to grow up.

Naked Bugs

After laying my son's clothes out for him this morning he came running into my room stark naked. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "Mom, I'm making sure the bugs don't get me 'cause I'm naked." I said, "what are you talking about?", and he replied, "When bugs get into your house they like to get you when you're naked."

I'm concerned about two things, 1) Is he speaking from experience?, and 2) when have there been bugs in our house? Oh, the mind of a three-year-old. There's nothing like it, other than maybe the mind of my two-year-old. :)

Something a Mom Shouldn't Have to Hear...

My three year old son came up behind me tonight and said, "Mom, I really like your shaky butt." Ugh. Why do kids always have to speak the obvious out loud? Moms have to have great self-esteems otherwise we may all just find a hole and hide in it. Something to laugh about.

Chuck E. Cheese and Jesus are Not the Same

A few weeks ago my daughter experience one of the most traumatizing moments of her life. She came face to face with what apparently is her worst nightmare --- Chuck E. Cheese. I don't blame her, I have always had a very, strong aversion to any person dressed in a large animal costume. There isn't much else on this planet that makes me more uncomfortable. Anyway, my mom decided to take the kids there one afternoon, and quickly realized by the high, pitch shrills of my daughter that their stay would not last long. For days my daughter told everyone she came into contact with that "I don't like Chuck E. Cheeses. He scare me. I cry at Chuck E. Cheeses." If we passed a Chuck E. Cheese in the car the crying would begin all over again. If Chuck E. Cheese was advertised on television she would inevitably tell you the whole story from start to finish. Needless to say, we will not be going to Chuck E. Cheese for many years to come. The story is cute and funny if you end it there, but my child took it to another level this weekend. My mom was rocking and singing "Jesus loves me" to my daughter before bed. My daughter sat straight up and said. "I don't like Jesus. He scare me." My mom quickly tried to correct her and find out why she would say such a thing. My daughter, as serious as a two year old can be said, "My don't like Chuck E. Jesus, he scare me. He got big eyes!" So, not only has Chuck E. Cheese scared her for life, but now her theology is a mess, too! She now knows Chuck E. Cheese and Jesus are not the same --- and this is now what we hear 40 times a day now. "They not the same, Chuck E. Cheeses and Jesus are not the same."

One of Life's Ridiculous...

In describing my blog I say something to the effect that we will dive from life's most serious issues to the ridiculous, because so often that's the way my day falls. Well today here is one of the ridiculous (sorry if this is offensive to some -- we use the anatomically correct names for body parts with our children):

My daughter (just turned 2) and I were putting together a Disney Princess puzzle. She would pick up a piece and I would ask her what piece she was holding. For example, she would have a piece of red hair and say "Ariel". So, she picked up another piece and I asked her what she had, and she responded very enthusiastically, "I've got Cindabella's bagina!" Sure enough, she had a piece of Cinderella from the waist down. Kids can be so literal. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.

You Know it's Been a Long Day When....

You put creamer in your child's sippy cup. Wow. Maybe I need a break.

Poop....Such a Distinct Smell

My two year old daughter is just about potty trained. We were at the grocery store, and she told me she had to go poopy. I asked if she could wait just a few minutes, and she said she could (mistake #1: Never trust a two-year-old's judgement on time). Once we got home I had forgotten about her having to go, and I began to put the groceries away. The next thing I knew she was running, with her pants around her ankles, screaming "I gotta go poopy!" I could tell she had pooped, but I couldn't seem to find it anywhere. I just assumed she hadn't really gone yet, so I stuck her on the toilet and cleaned her up. I went back to the kitchen and finished putting the groceries away. I still smelled pooped. I looked everywhere and couldn't find it. I figured it was just lingering from before, but it wouldn't go away. Several more minutes went by and the smell was as strong as ever. I was going crazy trying to find the source of the mysterious poop smell. Finally, my three-year-old son came into the kitchen and said, "Mommy why is there poop on the top of your shoe?" I looked down, and sure enough there was a decently large piece of poop just sitting on the top of my shoe. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

"My Show Daddy"

After I finished painting my, almost two-year-old, daughter's nails this morning she immediately said, "My show Daddy". This is the first comment after every new outfit, new hair style, or a game of dress-up. It never fails; I am the one that spends all the time helping her, making her feel pretty, and in the end she wants to show her Daddy. Why is that? The answer is that there is something inside of every little girl that wants to please her Daddy. Not only does she want to please him, but she wants him to find pleasure in her. And, of course, her Daddy is genuinely taken aback by her every time. Why? Not because she is beautiful, but because she is his. The reason this is found in every girl is because it is a desire God has placed in each of us. Yes, we want to please our earthly fathers, but that desire comes out of our innate desire to please our Heavenly Father. Not only do we want to please Him, but oh, how we want Him to find pleasure in us as well. During this Christmas season, I challenge you to present yourself before your Heavenly Father and say "My show Daddy". He will find pleasure in what he sees, not because of your beauty, but because you are HIS.

I swear, I didn't teach this to him....

As I was preparing for our Christmas party last night, my three-year-old son walked out of my closet with one of my bras wrapped around his chest. He said, "Look, Mommy! I have oboe's! " Where in the world, do kids come up with this stuff!?!?

Note to Self: Milkshakes Are a Great Idea

Last night I was watching my friend's boys for her. They are 2 and 4 years old, which sandwiches my son who is three. He was estactic that his friends were coming over. I made sure I made a dinner that I knew boys would like (which they all gobbled up), and then later we had our nightly party (read about this tradition in my previous post HERE). I made strawberry milkshakes for all the kids, and they loved them. After they finished, my son came over to me and kind of whispered to me, "Mom, the milkshakes were a great idea." He was obviously happy that we had impressed his friends. If only adults were able to read people as well as this three-year-old.

End the Day with a Party

We have a daily tradition in our home. After dinner is through (and all the food has been eaten; this is a requirement) and baths have been had, my kids get to choose one sweet snack to eat at the table. They refer to this as their "party." This started last year when my husband and I found ourselves having to live with my parents for a period of time. My children would sit at the kitchen table, after their baths and have a "party" with Grammy. They would talk about their days, my sister's up coming wedding, the garden outside, and anything else a three year old mind can come up with. Since we moved out, we have continued this tradition in our home. We have a family meal together everyday, but I have found at this stage in life dinner is a bit stressful to try and have a conversation with little kids. So much of the time is spent trying to get them to eat, cleaning up spills, telling them to stop drumming on the table ...you get the idea. At our "party", they are enjoying what their eating, and seem to be very willing to converse and talk about what's on their mind. What I have also found is that my son (he is three) has learned how to have a conversation. He actually asks me about my day, and often asks me what I would like to talk about at the "party". I encourage you to try this. My kids love it; and it's a great incentive to get them to eat their dinner!

Don't Touch a Fireman!

My son had fire safety at his preschool today. I asked him what he learned and he said, "Don't ever touch a fireman because they are really hot."

What is in a Name?

I told my son to get in the car because we were going grocery shopping. He asked me if "the 5 brothers" could come, too. We only have a son and daughter, so I asked him who the five brothers were? He proceeded to introduce me to "the brothers". He said, "Mom, this is Ben, Micheal, Jack, Blooded-half, and me. We are the five brothers." You can imagine my horror when he named the fourth brother. I said, "Honey, I don't think I like the name Blooded-half." My son said, with his hands out to his side and his head shaking from side-to-side, "Mom, that's his name, you can't change a name." Ever since then, "Blooded-half" has been a part of our family. I often forget how horrible that name is until he introduces him to our pediatrician, or the cashier at the grocery store, or some unsuspecting parent. What is in a name, anyway?

Spinning Turning Thing

Monday is my husband's birthday so I asked my 3 year old son today what he would like to give him. He stopped said, "Hmmm....." with his finger against his chin, and replied, "I think I would like to give him a hat with a spinning, turning, thing on top. Do you think that would make him happy, mom?" I said, "I definitely think that would make him happy." And my son said, "Yeah, Piglet really likes his."