Saturday, January 24, 2009

Bitter-Sweet Birthdays...

Today is my daughter's second birthday....bitter-sweet, right? I love watching her grow, but hate it all the same. I'm doing exactly what every mother does on their children's birthdays....going back in time and reliving every second of her birth. I truly LOVED every moment of my children's birth experiences, honestly. Now, don't get me wrong --- I wasn't a hero -- I had the big 'ole needle in my back that took all the pain away. :) I won't get into a discussion about which way is better, but for me it was wonderful. I'll never forget the moment they laid my little one on my chest. My husband and I both wept. I'm not sure why we were so emotional with our second child. Maybe we were more relaxed, maybe because she was a girl, maybe because we knew how incredible parenting was ... who knows. But today my little tiny princess is two, and I'm happy and sad all at the same time. Time goes by so quickly, and I realize this more each and every day. Today she is wearing a fairy princess costume, and before I know it will be a wedding dress. I'm just struck with how little time I have to influence, shape, mold, and teach this tiny replication of myself. If I dwell on this thought for too long I become overwhelmed and begin to feel so ill equipped. I've said this before on here, but I cannot love her and mother her without the lifesaving power of my Heavenly Father. I can try and do okay --- but she will never be the woman she was created to be unless I lay all my desires, concerns, dreams, and my love for her into my Fathers arms. She is His....and I get to be His hands in her life. What an amazing and terrifying privilege.